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TheJustPull
05-15-2011, 11:13 AM
I am currently living with my parents due to factors beyond my control. About four or five months ago I started helping out with some bills ( I've always given them some rent money with every paycheck each week) the big one is cable, I was paying about half of it. I've been dating my girlfriend for awhile now and lately have been there most of the time ( usually just come home to sleep) tax season came and I retardedely wrote two checks to pay for my federal and state fees.
They cleared but at the same week and then things were getting crazy with my bank account. I have been paying on things that I have past due so as to get them off my credit report.
Today my dad informs me I'm too far behind on 'helping' with the cable bill and that he disconnected my box and told me to disconnect the laptop.
I had no problem helping them when I was here all the time (before I was dating my girlfriend) but I don't feel its fair to Me to be expected to pay what I was before when really I am only home a few hours of the night and usually don't even use my computer here anymore.
I just needed to vent about this and see what people think. Am I crazy for thinking how I am? I know I agreed to help out and I know I got behind, but I had personal issues to clear up first before I could worry about helping out.
What's the best way for me to go about this mess?

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scottpole
05-15-2011, 11:26 AM
Sounds like your pops is a little up tight. You should try talking about your financial situation. It is wrong for him to complain about help with the cable when your behind. He is your dad and he is supposed to help you and be there when you need it. He should realize the long term damage past due bills can do to your credibility and cut you some slack. I'm currently out on my ass at my moms house. Had to quit a well paid job for school and am now only making 3/4 of what I was making and school got foiled and I had to drop. So now my 400 dollar a month Verizon bill plus 400+ in car note and insurance is really becoming an uphill battle. I'm living with my mom and she hasn't asked me for a dime. Even has lended me money at times. So no in my opinion I would say your are not crazy.

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ohbroncofan
05-15-2011, 11:30 AM
If you're not at your parents that much then I would say its no problem not having a cable box, or internet. Both of my neighbors have kids that have moved back in with them. I have no idea what type of rent, help with the bills, etc. they have set up. But I do see the kids working in the yards, shoveling snow, doing things around the house. Perhaps if you cant contribute as much financially, you could contribute in that way. Just a thought.

TheJustPull
05-15-2011, 11:50 AM
Its not the not having it that's the issue. Its the fact he wants a past due amount from when I missed them. I can do most things from my x or even at my girlfriends as she has internet there. Im the only kid left at home so I usually mow the yard and odds and ends around the house.

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corki2
05-15-2011, 11:54 AM
When my grown daughter moved back in with me after a failed relationship, I didn't charge her anything so that she could save up for her own place and get back on her feet. I then realized that she was spending all her money on fast food, friends and entertainment. I could see that I was not doing her any favors in the long run, so I requested she pay for 1/2 utilities and groceries. She wasn't pleased, but did agree and held up her end as the only other choice she had was to move out. She's 27 now and is putting herself through college while working full time and living on her own. She realizes that it wasn't her money that I wanted, but rather that she learn to be financially responsible. She is grateful to me now for the lesson.

duro78
05-15-2011, 02:41 PM
Regardless of how much time you spend at your girlfriends you still live at your parents house and that bill sure nuff comes every month. Becareful if you spend that much time over there it will only be right to pitch in over there also. Take care of home first gf's come and go family is where it is.

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mikeinrichmond
05-15-2011, 02:52 PM
The best thing you can do is work more to pay your folks what you owe them, as that was what was agreed upon when you moved in. A deal is a deal, no matter what may have happened financial wise with your taxes. Let your folks know that you plan on paying what you agreed to, and lay it out exactly how you will accomplish this, how much extra you will give per month for example. This is really what they want to hear, it's likely not really the money they care about, but that you are taking responsibility for your actions and that your word is good. Perhaps there are also extra jobs you could do around the house, cut grass, wash cars etc.. that could also count as payment.

Of course I'm speaking as a father of 2 grown kids, but perhaps this is exactly what your own Dad would like to hear...

TheJustPull
05-15-2011, 03:20 PM
Thanks Mike, it's good to get another perspective on it. I was a little frustrated because he's going on about it when I'm just now getting caught up on my stuff.
I don't think he knows that and thinks I'm just bailing out on my offer.

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Snow02
05-15-2011, 03:30 PM
People only really care about your actions, not your intentions. So while you may not have meant to fall behind, the fact is you haven't held up your agreed end, and you need to acknowledge that and do everything you can to correct it. Just letting your pops know you understand that will go a long way towards lessening the tension in the meantime.

mikeinrichmond
05-15-2011, 03:32 PM
Thanks Mike, it's good to get another perspective on it. I was a little frustrated because he's going on about it when I'm just now getting caught up on my stuff.
I don't think he knows that and thinks I'm just bailing out on my offer.

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Welcome, and yes the 'reminders' are his way on making sure you are going to abide by your agreement. It's also stressful for your Dad to have to do this..Think of it this way, ever have a buddy borrow money then doesn't pay it back like he said he would, and you have to keep asking him for it? I don't know about you, but it pisses me off. Now we are talking about your parents, which is different than a buddy, but the principle is the same. Again, just discuss with them how you are going to pay it off, and stick to it. That's what they want to hear... :)

MICHO
05-15-2011, 04:14 PM
Wow and people thought I was crazy for making my 13 year old pay for her cellphone ( I pay the bill of course) also she is a straight A student in 3 AP classes . I'm sorry but I'm old school with the extras. I bought my first pager and payed the bill. My parents didn't, couldn't afford fancy anything. If we wanted it we had to earn it. bring it home and share it. What I'm saying is if your gf broke up with you today right now where would you stay? That's the place you need to take care of most that's called home. No matter what. pay what you owe To your pops or figure out what it would cost to live on your own And stop stressing your pops out. I'm with Mike I hate letting people barrow money. Just because I didn't ask them to barrow my money but I seem to always have to ask for it back. Funny how that works.

Take care of home first everything else will fall into place. Also don't think it matters for a sec that your not always there. Do you have a house key? And where is all your personal stuff sitting? .. o btw my 13 y old wants an android phone ... guess who's paying for it?

MICHO
05-15-2011, 04:24 PM
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