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psychotic_penguin
01-10-2011, 11:01 PM
Reinventing an old school thread.....

The Avian Flu heard about Chuck Norris and stopped.

C Dippa
01-10-2011, 11:30 PM
I heard that Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd...

Nobody fools Chuck Norris...


Sent from my X to the interwebs

Droid-Xer
01-11-2011, 01:35 AM
Here's a classic....Chuck Norris went on vacation to the Virgin Islands, when he returned, they were known as the Islands.

Not for kids... When Chuck Norris makes love, he's always on top, cuz Chuck Norris never eff's up!

wicked
01-11-2011, 01:40 AM
When Chuck Norris pokes you on Facebook, you die.

dropd1us
01-11-2011, 03:02 AM
When chuck norris jumps in the ocean the ocean gets chucked!!!!!

sent from DROIDX =C3..(COMMAND COMMUNICATE CONTROL)

dropd1us
01-11-2011, 03:30 AM
Since I downloaded a chuck norris battery app..... my droidx never dies..,....

sent from DROIDX =C3..(COMMAND COMMUNICATE CONTROL)

DebianDog
01-11-2011, 06:20 AM
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

AdamTomaino
01-11-2011, 06:31 AM
When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axles, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.

jloya
01-11-2011, 08:11 AM
http://i287.photobucket.com/albums/ll140/bighugss/chuck.jpg

gravybird
01-11-2011, 08:45 AM
Chuck norris doesn't do pushups.. He lays on his stomach, and pushes the world down!

Swyped while swerving

psychotic_penguin
01-11-2011, 06:40 PM
If Chuck Norris was an answer, there would be no question, Chuck Norris answers to nobody.

The persuader
01-11-2011, 06:47 PM
Is he a Member of this Forum...?

Droid-Xer
01-11-2011, 06:49 PM
Is he a Member of this Forum...?

Chuck Norris doesn't need help from anyone

gravybird
01-11-2011, 06:53 PM
Chuck doesn't wear a watch to tell time... He decides what time it is!

Swyped while swerving

psychotic_penguin
01-11-2011, 07:04 PM
Chuck Norris was in all 6 Star Wars movies............... As The Force.

The persuader
01-11-2011, 07:10 PM
Cool...but is he a Member:)

1KDS
01-11-2011, 07:13 PM
http://lh5.ggpht.com/_kon34LTUJwA/TSz_gekjfPI/AAAAAAAAAE8/PU1K6pmLqvY/s800/Screen%20shot%202011-01-11%20at%207.10.03%20PM.png

wicked
01-11-2011, 07:15 PM
Cool...but is he a Member:)

No Bubba, I don't believe he is...

@ 1KDS thats funny lol

C Dippa
01-11-2011, 07:17 PM
Haha...1KDS, that's awesome...

Coincedentally, if you google "Chuck Norris getting his *** kicked", it will return 0 results. It just doesn't happen...

The persuader
01-11-2011, 07:18 PM
Ooooh...

Now that I know I can't fine him...I can Kick His Butt...:)

So, the next Flight out of the country is tonight before the SNOW Flys..

psychotic_penguin
01-11-2011, 07:19 PM
From Droid Forums complements of breakmyfootoff, proof that Chuck Norris is aware and does own multiple X's

http://i250.photobucket.com/albums/gg248/breakmyfootoff/chucknorris.png

The persuader
01-11-2011, 07:22 PM
Well...their yaa have it...Not 1 But 2 X's to Boot...No Pun...:)

C Dippa
01-11-2011, 07:25 PM
Lol, I bet if you set that as your wallpaper, it would brick your phone instantly...

Sent from my X to the interwebs

1KDS
01-11-2011, 07:26 PM
nah, it will be brick-proof

The persuader
01-11-2011, 07:32 PM
LOL...Brick my Phone and then some....No S***...I guess that's one good way to find out if he's a Lurker on the Forum...Can I use C Dippa as my Mentor for good Graces....:)

:)...Believe me....I can get into enough trouble just being on this Forum...

tycoon177
01-11-2011, 07:38 PM
Can an admin change this to chuck norris facts?

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psychotic_penguin
01-11-2011, 08:08 PM
There ya go....Chuck changed it just for you

spodoc
01-11-2011, 08:36 PM
Liberty will be released when Chuck Norris says it can be released

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psychotic_penguin
01-11-2011, 08:39 PM
Chuck Norris once starred in Wheel of Fortune. The last twenty nine minutes were spent in an awkward silence, waiting for the wheel to stop spinning.

spodoc
01-11-2011, 08:40 PM
That was funny Penguin

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spodoc
01-11-2011, 08:40 PM
Chuck Norris has more posts than STG.

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psychotic_penguin
01-11-2011, 08:46 PM
Chuck Norris has more posts than STG.

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Good one hope she doesn't try to retort.....

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

wicked
01-11-2011, 09:34 PM
http://i56.tinypic.com/2a65mww.jpg

C Dippa
01-11-2011, 09:39 PM
Hahahahahaha....epic photoshop job, wicked!

This thread is great...

The persuader
01-11-2011, 09:40 PM
Hell...I'll just give it to you....Why Ask...:)

spodoc
01-11-2011, 09:58 PM
Chuck Norris doesn't have to format data / cache when switching roms

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Xzombie69X
01-11-2011, 10:06 PM
When Chuck Norris orgasms, it leaves exit wounds...

Tornlogic
01-11-2011, 10:20 PM
Google "where is Chuck Noris" then select the first result. :)

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spodoc
01-11-2011, 10:30 PM
Chuck Norris doesn't need a case to keep his iPhone from losing a signal when he holds it

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spodoc
01-11-2011, 10:32 PM
Only Chuck Norris knows if he can scratch a phone that has Chuck Norris glass.

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spodoc
01-11-2011, 10:36 PM
Ok so enough of my dumb jokes I just made up. Here is one I read:

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door

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psychotic_penguin
01-11-2011, 10:38 PM
If you want a list of Chuck Norris’ enemies, just check the extinct species list.

eric eakin
01-11-2011, 10:40 PM
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door


always my favorite!!!!!!

psychotic_penguin
01-11-2011, 10:40 PM
Just about any of them just crack me up

spodoc
01-11-2011, 10:44 PM
Thanks penguin. Today was a rough one and this thread did the trick. Night.

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psychotic_penguin
01-11-2011, 10:46 PM
Sure thing, I think these are great

Aliens do exist. They're just waiting for Chuck Norris to die before they attack.

tycoon177
01-11-2011, 10:51 PM
Sure thing, I think these are great

Aliens do exist. They're just waiting for Chuck Norris to die before they attack.
So they will never attack? Chuck Norris will NEVER die...Btw I saw I got the name changed :D makes me feel important


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psychotic_penguin
01-11-2011, 10:52 PM
I figured there's no joking about Chuck so your request seemed valid

C Dippa
01-11-2011, 10:59 PM
Chuck Norris made Journey stop believing...

psychotic_penguin
01-11-2011, 11:00 PM
Chuck Norris made Journey stop believing...

Doh.....

psychotic_penguin
01-11-2011, 11:01 PM
Chuck Norris does not "style" his hair. It lays perfectly in place out of sheer terror.

semp
01-11-2011, 11:08 PM
capital one does not dare ask chuck norris what's in his wallet.

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psychotic_penguin
01-11-2011, 11:11 PM
Sharks have a week dedicated to Chuck Norris.

Jessi
01-11-2011, 11:49 PM
There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris, but it was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives.

skyshadow
01-12-2011, 12:56 AM
The only person who cried when Chuck Norris was born was the doctor, don't ever slap Chuck Norris

Roundhouse kicked from my Droid X

DebianDog
01-12-2011, 01:19 AM
Chuck Norris doesn't need help from anyone

Classic!

Beamed from my DroidX

Judge
01-12-2011, 02:40 AM
When Chuck Norris was born he immediately had a run at the nurse. At that point in time she was the third woman he had slept with.

Darkslide---undervolt---1309 quad. score
Overclock @1150 ---1516 quad

spodoc
01-12-2011, 06:30 PM
If Chuck Norris is chasing you, his shirt will appear blue

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psychotic_penguin
01-12-2011, 06:56 PM
Chuck Norris' favorite team lost so he slapped his tv and made it a flat screen

The persuader
01-12-2011, 06:59 PM
If I Met Chuck Norris...I'd hit him so many times with a Left....He'd Beg for a Right...

psychotic_penguin
01-12-2011, 10:30 PM
When Chuck Norris was little he followed a rainbow. He met a leprechaun and asked for its gold. It wouldn't give it to him. This is why we no longer have leprechauns.

wicked
01-12-2011, 10:31 PM
hahah good one penguin lol

psychotic_penguin
01-12-2011, 10:34 PM
Couldn't help that one I'm Irish.

Chuck must've read Bubba's response on the last page.....and had a word with him!

C Dippa
01-12-2011, 10:51 PM
11487

psychotic_penguin
01-12-2011, 10:53 PM
When Chuck Norris looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.

semp
01-12-2011, 11:42 PM
bruce lee beat chuck norris once, then he died.

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jmims
01-13-2011, 02:52 PM
Little kids wear Superman pajamas, but Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.

psychotic_penguin
01-13-2011, 02:54 PM
Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris' leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.

jmims
01-13-2011, 02:57 PM
Once, Chuck Norris executed a roundhouse kick so fast his foot went back in time... and was subsequently the cause for Amelia Earhart's plane crash.

spodoc
01-13-2011, 03:00 PM
When Chuck Norris looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.

Actually I heard that when he looked in the mirror he saw nothing because there is only one chuck norris

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DebianDog
01-13-2011, 04:33 PM
Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. His decedents are now known as giraffes!

semp
01-13-2011, 04:36 PM
...and on the seventh day god rested, then chuck norris took over.

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Getsome122
01-13-2011, 05:43 PM
Chuck Norris doesn't need an X to text. He just thinks his message and you receive it.

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jmims
01-13-2011, 06:09 PM
One Chuck Norris roundhouse kick can power all of Australia for 40 minutes.

psychotic_penguin
01-13-2011, 06:19 PM
B.C. really stands for Before Chuck!

ali
01-13-2011, 07:38 PM
Some magicians can walk on water chuck norris can swim on land.
Also heard that he would never have a heart attack because his heart would never be foolish enough to attack chuck norris. I love this nonsense

psychotic_penguin
01-13-2011, 07:50 PM
Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris pajamas

jmims
01-13-2011, 07:59 PM
Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris pajamas

I beat you to that one, sir.



Little kids wear Superman pajamas, but Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.

psychotic_penguin
01-13-2011, 08:01 PM
Indeed you did

The President has Chuck Norris on speed dial...on the red phone

jmims
01-13-2011, 08:11 PM
Lol...

ali
01-13-2011, 08:25 PM
Chuck norris doesn't go hunting because the word hunting infers the possibility of failure. Chuck norris goes killing.

psychotic_penguin
01-13-2011, 08:29 PM
Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Chuck Norris

jmims
01-13-2011, 08:56 PM
Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Chuck Norris

Been used too, bro...

jmims
01-13-2011, 08:57 PM
Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.

Cheaptoad
01-13-2011, 09:00 PM
Is there an app for this stuff?

psychotic_penguin
01-13-2011, 09:11 PM
Chuck Norris can spell his name with Cheerios

Cheaptoad
01-13-2011, 09:17 PM
Chuck Norris can spell his name with Cheerios

I would think the Cherrios would spell it for him

psychotic_penguin
01-13-2011, 09:20 PM
The film Delta Force was not fiction, but actually a home movie of Chuck Norris' summer vacation

jmims
01-13-2011, 09:36 PM
Chuck Norris can clog a toilet with his urine.

psychotic_penguin
01-13-2011, 09:37 PM
On the set of Walker, Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris's beard has its own trailer

Getsome122
01-14-2011, 12:19 AM
Scientists have determined that the energy given off during the big bang was equal to 1CNRhK
(1 Chuck Norris Round house Kick)

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semp
01-14-2011, 01:00 AM
there's nothing to fear but fear itself, and chuck norris.

semp
01-14-2011, 01:01 AM
chuck norris threw a new years eve party, it hasnt landed.

DebianDog
01-14-2011, 05:38 AM
Chuck Norris can kill 2 stones with one bird.

Dustin0308
01-14-2011, 06:05 AM
Chuck Norris always has sex on the first date....ALWAYS

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jmims
01-14-2011, 07:04 AM
Chuck Norris once challenged himself to a fight to the death... and won.

spodoc
01-14-2011, 07:24 AM
I would think the Cherrios would spell it for him

Chereeos waits for Chuck's permission before spelling his name... maybe Chuck just isn't in the mood.

psychotic_penguin
01-14-2011, 08:24 AM
My wife and I decided to name our son Chuck Norris. My wife is still in a coma, and I am learning to walk again.

Dustin0308
01-14-2011, 11:24 AM
How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could Chuck Norris...all of it.

jmims
01-14-2011, 11:52 AM
Chuck Norris does not love Raymond.

AdamTomaino
01-14-2011, 01:49 PM
Osama bin Laden heard Chuck Norris was not happy with him after 9/11 and went into hiding.....never to be seen again.

Dustin0308
01-14-2011, 04:22 PM
Chuck Norris can believe it's not butter.

ohbroncofan
01-14-2011, 08:26 PM
Chuck Norris once made Stevie Wonder flinch.

psychotic_penguin
01-14-2011, 08:35 PM
When Chuck Norris exercises, the machine gets stronger.

Dustin0308
01-14-2011, 10:57 PM
Jesus Christ walked on water....not to be outdone, Chuck Norris swam through land.

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Dustin0308
01-14-2011, 11:04 PM
Yes

Is there an app for this stuff?



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Dustin0308
01-14-2011, 11:07 PM
In the beginning God said "Let there be light" ...Chuck Norris said "Say please!"

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psychotic_penguin
01-14-2011, 11:12 PM
Here you go chuck norris - Search Android Apps on AppBrain (http://www.appbrain.com/search?q=chuck+norris)

wicked
01-15-2011, 12:06 AM
Here you go chuck norris - Search Android Apps on AppBrain (http://www.appbrain.com/search?q=chuck+norris)

I had no clue there was any and even so many Chuck Norris apps out there lol

psychotic_penguin
01-15-2011, 12:14 AM
Chuck Norris does not need to wear a wrist watch because he is the one who decides what time it is

gravybird
01-15-2011, 01:14 AM
Chuck Norris does not need to wear a wrist watch because he is the one who decides what time it is

Second page :-)

Swyped while swerving

beavs17
01-15-2011, 01:36 AM
Chuck Norris once had sex with an entire convent of nuns. Nine months later, they gave birth to the 1972 Dolphins.

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psychotic_penguin
01-15-2011, 01:42 AM
Chuck Norris doesn't cheat death. He wins fair and square.

Dustin0308
01-15-2011, 10:58 AM
Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane in WW2 by pointing his finger in the sky in the shape of a gun and yelling "Bang, Bang".

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psychotic_penguin
01-15-2011, 11:31 AM
That's not an eclipse, that's the sun hiding from Chuck Norris.

Dustin0308
01-15-2011, 12:58 PM
Chuck Norris can eat just one Lays potato chip.

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Cheaptoad
01-15-2011, 04:20 PM
Oh damn, I just downloaded one of the chuck norris apps and now its the only app showing. Must have scarred then off

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gravybird
01-15-2011, 05:06 PM
You forgot to turn on chuck norris in ti backup to prevent that from happening:-)

Swyped while swerving

Cheaptoad
01-15-2011, 05:30 PM
Now he tells me. Wow now the word verizon is gone and the words chuck norris are there

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dkst0426
01-15-2011, 05:37 PM
I thought it was a jackhammer outside my house yesterday morning, but it was just Chuck Norris helping the road crew out by flicking the asphalt with his pinky.

Fireguy553
01-15-2011, 06:10 PM
Lights don't burn out in Chuck Norris' house because not even the bulbs want to be caught in the dark with Chuck.

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psychotic_penguin
01-15-2011, 08:09 PM
The saddest moment for a child is not when he learns Santa Claus isn't real, it's when he learns Chuck Norris is.

skennelly
01-15-2011, 08:47 PM
Chuck Norris once starred in Wheel of Fortune. The last twenty nine minutes were spent in an awkward silence, waiting for the wheel to stop spinning.

Hilarious:-)

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Dustin0308
01-15-2011, 11:50 PM
Chuck Norris, as a kid, went trick or treating as Chuck Norris.

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psychotic_penguin
01-16-2011, 07:55 PM
If you find yourself in a dire situation, just ask yourself: "What Would Chuck Norris Do?" Needless to say, you then give up, because you can't do what Chuck Norris does.

Dustin0308
01-16-2011, 08:16 PM
Jesus wears a bracelett that says WWCD (What Would Chuck Do).

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mikeinrichmond
01-16-2011, 08:34 PM
Chuck Norris once urinated in a semi truck's gas tank as a joke....that truck is now known as Optimus Prime.

Dustin0308
01-16-2011, 08:37 PM
Chuck Norris can bench press an 18 wheeler..with himself in it.

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mikeinrichmond
01-17-2011, 03:47 PM
Chuck Norris does not fart, nothing escapes Chuck Norris...lol

Bullet
01-17-2011, 05:16 PM
Chuck Norris has only been hit once. He ran around the earth so fast he punched himself in the back of the head.

greevedogg
01-17-2011, 05:19 PM
Arnold, Sylvester, and Chuck all died and went to heaven. As they reached the pearly gates, St. Peter approached them and said, "Welcome to Heaven, God would very much like to see the three of you now."

When Arnold, Sylvester, and Chuck reached God's chambers, God was sitting in his throne with an empty chair next to him. God then said, "Welcome to heaven, gentlemen! I have an empty chair here beside me for the one who is deemed worthy of ruling over all of creation with me. Each of you tell me why you think you deserve this honor..."

Arnold spoke first: "I have been a champion body-builder, actor, and civil servant..."
Sylvester then stated: "I have been a writer, actor, director, and looked up to by millions of people..."

Chuck spoke last: "Uh, God, I believe you're sitting in my chair."

mikeinrichmond
01-17-2011, 06:11 PM
Waldo got drunk one night and made a joke about Chuck Norris' beard. That's why he's hiding..

psychotic_penguin
01-17-2011, 07:03 PM
Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain.

mikeinrichmond
01-17-2011, 07:35 PM
Genesis 1:0.9..Before the beginning, Chuck Norris created God. The rest is history.

Dustin0308
01-17-2011, 09:17 PM
I was gonna say that one but takes too long lol..one of my favorites.

Arnold, Sylvester, and Chuck all died and went to heaven. As they reached the pearly gates, St. Peter approached them and said, "Welcome to Heaven, God would very much like to see the three of you now."

When Arnold, Sylvester, and Chuck reached God's chambers, God was sitting in his throne with an empty chair next to him. God then said, "Welcome to heaven, gentlemen! I have an empty chair here beside me for the one who is deemed worthy of ruling over all of creation with me. Each of you tell me why you think you deserve this honor..."

Arnold spoke first: "I have been a champion body-builder, actor, and civil servant..."
Sylvester then stated: "I have been a writer, actor, director, and looked up to by millions of people..."

Chuck spoke last: "Uh, God, I believe you're sitting in my chair."



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Dustin0308
01-17-2011, 09:18 PM
The bible was originally known as..Chuck and Friends.

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semp
01-18-2011, 05:55 AM
Chuck Norris once took the wrong turn. nothing happened.

Dustin0308
01-18-2011, 06:03 AM
The most expensive special effects and agreement by any actors was in the “Way of the Dragon", in which Bruce Lee "defeated" Chuck Norris in a fight. Bruce Lee later died of a "brain aneurysm".

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mikeinrichmond
01-18-2011, 04:40 PM
Einstein's greatest blunder was not the cosmological constant. It was falsely believing that gravity, and not Chuck Norris, warps space-time.

Dustin0308
01-19-2011, 05:12 AM
If you can see Chuck Norris then Chuck Norris can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris then you may be only seconds away from death.

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AdamTomaino
01-19-2011, 06:28 AM
When Chuck Norris decided to fight global warming, The earth decided to throw in the towel and snow in 49 of 50 states on the same say! (1/15/2011)

mikeinrichmond
01-20-2011, 11:53 AM
Chuck Norris can checkmate you in one move..

Xswyper

greevedogg
01-20-2011, 12:21 PM
It only takes Chuck Norris 3 moves to beat you in Connect 4

...not sure if that's already been posted, but its a goodie:)

Rodskii
01-20-2011, 12:37 PM
Chuck Norris' left and right arms are named law and order. His penis is named special victims unit.

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jmims
01-20-2011, 09:02 PM
lol

Chuck Norris can gargle peanut butter.

psychotic_penguin
01-20-2011, 09:22 PM
Chuck Norris framed Roger Rabbit.

edwards311
01-20-2011, 09:33 PM
Chuck Norris found his sisters virginity.....and put it back

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C Dippa
01-20-2011, 09:33 PM
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

edwards311
01-20-2011, 11:07 PM
People once tried to make Chuck Norris toilet paper.....only one problem, Chuck Norris does not take sh*t from anyone!!!

mikeinrichmond
01-21-2011, 07:21 PM
Chuck Norris knows the answer is NOT blowing in the wind..

edwards311
01-21-2011, 07:40 PM
Bigfoot takes pictures of Chuck Norris

I freakin' love Chuck Norris facts!!!!!!

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psychotic_penguin
01-21-2011, 08:07 PM
Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

mopar-x
01-21-2011, 08:29 PM
True fact ... Chuck Norris is only person to ever cross the atlantic ocean by walking from cost to cost.

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Dustin0308
01-21-2011, 10:06 PM
That's awe
some
lol

Chuck Norris can gargle peanut butter.



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psychotic_penguin
01-21-2011, 10:11 PM
A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.

beachy
01-21-2011, 10:23 PM
i am chuck Norris

mikeinrichmond
01-21-2011, 10:27 PM
Before bed, Monsters always check their closets for Chuck Norris..

psychotic_penguin
01-21-2011, 10:36 PM
Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie down.

mikeinrichmond
01-21-2011, 10:46 PM
Chuck Norris can see the Invisible man.

Xswyper

mopar-x
01-21-2011, 10:49 PM
When Chuck Norris drinks the bottles get a hangover.

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psychotic_penguin
01-21-2011, 10:51 PM
Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris

mopar-x
01-21-2011, 10:58 PM
If chuck norris jumped off a foot stool and landed with legs locked he would knock the earth out of orbit.

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usmc7356
01-21-2011, 11:09 PM
Chuck Norris does not have to add words to his swype dictionary or select his word from the box. Swype would never cross Chuck.

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Ryan M
01-21-2011, 11:35 PM
Chuck Norris coined the phrase "I'm so hungry I could eat a horse" rite before he ate the last unicorn in existence.

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psychotic_penguin
01-21-2011, 11:43 PM
There is no such thing as tornados. Chuck Norris just hates trailer parks.

mikeinrichmond
01-22-2011, 09:07 AM
Chuck Norris can punch a man's soul.

edwards311
01-22-2011, 08:11 PM
Chuck Norris biult the house he was born in.

mikeinrichmond
01-23-2011, 08:04 AM
Chuck Norris never gets stuck at the M logo in a boot loop...

psychotic_penguin
01-23-2011, 10:21 AM
Chuck Norris was only angry twice, and those times are known as WWI and WWII.

Xzombie69X
01-23-2011, 10:48 AM
Chuck Norris can Dribble a bowling ball

edwards311
01-23-2011, 06:39 PM
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table because he only believes in the element of suprise.

spodoc
01-23-2011, 06:42 PM
There is no such thing as tornados. Chuck Norris just hates trailer parks.

Hilarious

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mikeinrichmond
01-23-2011, 06:44 PM
Chuck Norris once hit a man so hard he killed his twin in an alternate universe.

chuck6961
01-23-2011, 07:03 PM
Chuck Norris eats smart cars like m&m's

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The persuader
01-23-2011, 07:21 PM
Chuck Norris wears Black... to Win like the Steelers...

C Dippa
01-23-2011, 08:38 PM
A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

psychotic_penguin
01-28-2011, 09:53 PM
The moon is said to be getting farther from the Earth. It is doing so because it wants to get as far away from Chuck Norris as possible.

tycoon177
01-29-2011, 10:54 AM
Chuck norris is merciful because he knows we're talking about him

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psychotic_penguin
01-29-2011, 10:59 AM
Although it is not common knowledge, there are actually three sides to the Force: the light side, the dark side, and Chuck Norris.

mopar-x
01-29-2011, 12:29 PM
Chuck Norris is the only person can make cold air rise and warm air fall.

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psychotic_penguin
01-29-2011, 12:44 PM
Chuck can show ballgames without the expressed written consent of Major League Baseball

psychotic_penguin
02-13-2011, 08:05 PM
Chuck Norris won the Tour De France on a Big wheel

mikeinrichmond
02-13-2011, 08:08 PM
:lol2: good one!

jmckemy
02-13-2011, 09:44 PM
Chuck Norris once killed a man just to watch him die. Johnny Cash made a song about it.

olyfunk
02-17-2011, 04:10 AM
Chuck Norris blows bubbles with beef jerky.

olyfunk
02-17-2011, 04:12 AM
Under Chuck Norris's beard is another fist.

olyfunk
02-17-2011, 01:03 PM
Chuck Norris once performed a roundhouse kick in outer space that could be seen by the naked eye.

jmims
02-17-2011, 01:45 PM
Some magicans can walk on water, Chuck Norris can swim through land.

HarleyDude
03-11-2011, 07:19 AM
I don't know if this was posted in the last 19 pages
Chuck Norris Apps (here's 3, there are more)
Chuck Norris Jokes - Android app on AppBrain (http://www.appbrain.com/app/chuck-norris-jokes/com.Jaaru.ChuckJokes)

Nuck Chorris Facts - Android app on AppBrain (http://www.appbrain.com/app/nuck-chorris-facts/com.appspot.swisscodemonkeys.nuckfacts)

Chuck norris facts n jokes - Android app on AppBrain (http://www.appbrain.com/app/chuck-norris-facts-n-jokes/tyler.facts.norris)

ToeJamm57
03-11-2011, 08:16 AM
I didn't see this one:

15450

ToeJamm57
03-11-2011, 09:28 PM
... and another

15462

Nivek
03-11-2011, 10:02 PM
Chuck Norris can divide by 0!

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spodoc
03-12-2011, 07:28 AM
And chuck Norris counted to infinity an infinite number of times... then he did it backwards

wicked
03-12-2011, 02:48 PM
Chuck Norris once partook in a pissing contest outside of a bar. His opponent drowned.

Nivek
03-13-2011, 08:20 AM
Chuck Norris can piss into gale force winds!


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wicked
03-13-2011, 03:05 PM
The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris's fist.

spodoc
03-13-2011, 07:30 PM
Chuck Norris can piss into gale force winds!


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I can too. I heard chuck doesn't get wet though :)

Nivek
03-14-2011, 12:18 AM
I can too. I heard chuck doesn't get wet though :)

He doesn't, water gets chuck norris.

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